Stuper Toilet Bowl (Part 1)

My bestie who reads my blog regularly requested that I do my own midseason predictions for how the 2009 NFL season will turn out with playoff. I thought about it and I do plan on doing one next week so stay tuned but I am going to add a little twist and do a complete reverse of the playoffs that have the good teams make the playoffs. I am going to make my own bad playoffs with the worst teams in the league. Everyone recently has made the comments of there are some really good teams this year but then there are a lot more really bad teams. A lot of the teams have issues from management all the way down and a lot just have issues with the players not playing up to their potential. In my bad playoffs there will be 4 division losers and then 2 wild cards. The worst 2 teams will gain byes and the way you advance to the next round would be to just lose which all these teams have gotten used to. The team that is the worst of all in my opinion at the end should not even be in the NFL no more. They should do like with the premier soccer league where the bottom 2 teams get dropped down to the lower league and the top 2 teams in the lower league get promoted. Maybe we should send some of these teams down to the CFL or NFL Euro. But this will be different then my other blogs where it will be in 3 parts. First AFC, then NFC, and then how my playoffs come out.



AFC division losers:

1. Cleveland Browns (1-7)- This team has flat out dysfunction written all over it. They are just a flat out bad football team and are regressing with each game they play. A lot of this is due in part to having an owner who is swayed by public opinion and hits a mental panic button often. They fired their coach and GM last year so they bring in Kokinis who then brings in his friend Mangini. Mangini and him then devise a plan to bring over 9 overrated and play below their potential ex-Jets who the Jets were happy to see leave. Mangini tries to impart some of his power by fining a player $1700 for a $3 bottle of water in the hotel. They do not know who to play at quarterback Quinn or Anderson. The only win they have so far is against the Bills. The game itself was the worst I have ever seen. The game was 6-3 with the winning quarterback only completing 2 of his passes and had a quarterback rating of 15%. The win was not as a result of their offense or defense but the special teams namely in my opinion their punter who gives their opponents bad field position that their defense always blows. Their defense is ranked dead last in the league. They are averaging giving up over 400 yards a game and 26.1 points to their opponents. They only have 5 offensive touchdowns all year which has them ranked 3rd to last in the league in that stat. They are just an all around bad football team. But remember just 2 years ago this team WAS 10-6 with 5 pro bowlers that they have now traded Edwards and Winslow.

2. Kansas City Chiefs (1-6)- Granted this team has a new coach, a new quarterback and traded away their future hall of fame tight end Tony Gonzalez. Needless to say it is a big rebuilding year for them. They also have a whiney running back who shouts off at the mouth about the coach and whoever else will listen, using politically incorrect grammar. He has the fans wanting him to not even break their all time rushing record and to just let him go. But they also rank in the bottom 5 in almost every category on both sides of the ball. Their only win is against the Washington Redskins and we will talk about the Deadskins when we get to the NFC.

3. Tennessee Titans (1-6)- They have benched their starting quarterback and have now brought in the head case and not always together Vince Young (pains me to say that about Young since he is a Longhorn) at the demand of the owner. I like Fisher as a coach and think that he has one of the best in the league but his team is struggling. They finally got a big win last week against the Jaguars. I personally don’t think that their record represents them entirely. They have had some tough games that were close against the Steelers that they lost by 3, against Houston that they lost by 3, and lost to the Jets by 7. Winnable games that came down to the wire that they just did not finish. Now they have also got shellacked by Patriots 59-0 and by 28. So don’t get me wrong in this league you are what your record is and they are just not that good a team looking at their record and where they were last year at this time sitting undefeated. They are 18th in the league in total offense, and dead last in defense . Their defense right now is hurting right now without Haynesworth and is giving up almost 400 yards of total offense a game almost 300 yards a game on the ground.

4. Buffalo Bills (3-5)- Coming out of the AFC east they are just at the bottom of the barrel with that division. Team Obliterator (T.O.) strikes again only older and slower and just not helping this football team. But the most humor i did have was this post game interview where it was killing him to be on his best behavior. 

The team though has lost to the Browns and that in itself is bad and has beaten 2 teams Tampa Bay and Carolina that you will see later on why they are just bad averaging double digit losses. Granted this team is injured and banged up without a lot of their defensive starters and their starting quarterback has been sidelined with a concusion. But the game against Carolina that they won. They were dominated on all aspects of the game but one Jake Delhomme turning over the ball and in a result had them pull out the win. They rank 29th in offense which is why they are losing games but their defense is helping slightly even banged up ranking 17th in the league. They just got the short end of the stick with them making it based on beinf the worsth in their division.


AFC Wild Cards

1. Oakland Raiders (2-6)- Al Davis continues to make this team worse and worse with his decisions as the owner and GM. Your coach likes to hit women, your quarterback has the worst completion percentage in the league and is about to eat himself out of a job. When you had a good veteran to back him up in Garcia and when he did better than Russell you cut him because you wanted Russell to be your starter no questions asked. No one on your team takes accountability and it shows in your record. I think it was a fluke win that they beat the Eagles. And the only other team you beat was the Chiefs. But have now lost to Denver, Houston, Giants and Jets all by more than 20. They have only 2 passing touchdowns, and rank 24th in defense and dead last in total offense. This team is just dysfunctional from the top down and will continue to be. They have won only 25% of the games they played since they made it to the super bowl in 2002.

2. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-4)- This team has started to turn it around but they are right now what their record is and that is a team below .500. But there are signs of them turning it around with Jones-Drew coming on, Gerrard ranking 17th in the league among quarterbacks. They need to get better on defense where they rank 25 but offensively they rank 11th. Showing signs of life beside the 2 horrible games against Seattle and Tennessee. They have beaten the Texans and Stealers. Show signs of life and can turn around this season with their offense. They only made it because they are the only team left in the AFC to have a below .500 record.

Stay tuned later on in the week to see who is going to be in the Toilet Bowl for the NFC.